Whoever said ignorance is bliss had no idea what they were talking about. Not only is ignorance not bliss, but it is also extremely frsutrating, stressful, and harmful to many parts of your life. Especially when it comes to your relationships with other people.
Life right now is not exactly what I would call happy. When pretty much the only person that ever talks to you during the school day is ignoring you and you sit in the middle of the classroom by yourself, clueless about what your doing, and alone. And then you sit and think, and the more you think the more it hurts and the more you wish you could be apathetic. No one ever said it was mature to ingore someone, or to deny that you are ignoring someone that you clearly are, and definitely no one ever said it was loving and forgiving and compassionate. Annoying more and more people seems to be a constant unintentional thing that I do to people. The problem is that people assume that the annoyance is completely intentional or something, either that or they are faulting me for not being perfect as if I could help it. That really frustrates me, not being able to become perfect, always falling, always failing, no matter how much I plead with God to help me never being able to be perfect in this sinful body of mine with my digustingly sinful nature. It is a struggle, and to some may seem stupid, but it is a legit struggle for me in my life. Nor does it help when the imperfect people around me seem to highlight my imperfections to even a greater extent. God help me.
I was reading a devotional study that I am trying to go through, and I came across something that rather struck me. The saying 'Life isn't fair' is rather a horrible thing. People have a sense of justice. And just because life might not be fair does not mean that you should act unfairly. God is just. It says so in 2 Thessalonias 1:6, "God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you." And this is God we are talking about, PERFECTION. Why should we intentionally act unjustly toward others? Everyone knows that when you act unfairly it has bad consequences, it opens us up to disappointment, dishonor, and shame. Now friends may be difficult, but to act justly toward them is honoring to God. That does not mean that if the slap you in the face you need to slap them back, because in reality that is revenge not justice, and therefore the right thing to do may be to show mercy. We need to ask God for the wisdom to know what to do and to not act unjustly.
This song has made me cry many times before, and yet it has a sort of sorrowful comfort in it:
Oh, and when I am alone.
Oh, and when I am alone.
Oh, and when I am alone,
Give me Jesus.
Give me Jesus!
Give me Jesus!
Oh, and when I am alone,
Give me Jesus.
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